The other week I returned home to the news that there had been a shooting on our estate. No deaths thankfully, but the kids (and they were kids) in the neighbouring flats were involved. Suddenly the reality of London newspaper headlines were strewn across my street. Only this was a lot more real than any newspaper story – this warranted jumping at the bumps in the night. I’m from a small town, this was all new to me. In my youth the closest I ever got to guns was cowering behind a fake wall at laser quest on a Saturday afternoon.
These kids had no fake wall to hide behind though. They had been heading towards trouble for some time, let down by the authorities at every turn. They had come to see no opportunity open to them apart from drugs and street warfare. So they had taken it. Meanwhile, in true London style, at the other end of the street, where the houses go for over a million pounds*, the kids end up with places at prestigious universities. This shooting made it crystal clear that while these children share a street, while they may even share a school, they most certainly do not share a reality of life chances.
The event unsettled me – and I don’t just mean the fear of future fights at night. The shooting shone a glaring light on a fear I’d been keeping tucked up inside. A fear that my son will have the odds stacked against him. A fear that people will judge him for which end of the street he is from. And he’s not just from the wrong end of the street, he’s got other strikes against him too.
The kids who were involved in the shooting were all different races and shades, but due to the depressingly common story of racist stereotypes everyone I spoke with assumed they were black. If you read the news (I mean the real news – there is some out there if you look hard enough), you will know that our institutions fail black and brown children disproportionately and worryingly often. The Runnymede School report highlights issues of race discrimination in British schools, the Children’s Commissioner has highlighted that certain ethnic minorities face greater exclusion levels than other ethnic groups and the Institute of Race Relations has identified that people from ethnic minorities are over-represented throughout the criminal justice system – including disproportionately targeted by the police and more likely to be imprisoned and for longer, than their white counterparts. Much of this discrimination only seems to get worse if you’re a boy.
Then there are all the other negative stereotypes about the family environment my son is growing up in. A (basically) absent father. A single mum. Visits from the police and social services. These are all factors which contribute to a stereotype of a kid that schools can just write off. Not because any of this means anything about my son and his potential, but because it doesn’t fit the prejudices that so many of us hold (deep) inside.
If people sit there waiting for my son to fail, how hard will he have to fight to succeed? What normal childhood misdemeanours will he not be given the benefit of the doubt over? What might make his teacher relegate him in their mind? What great expectations will he never be given the chance to aspire to?
I look at my son and he’s an amazing, bubbly little boy and I can’t imagine him letting anything get in his way. But then again, I don’t know what it’s like to be viewed differently negatively because of my race. I don’t know how a brown boy from a single parent family living in the wrong end of the street will be viewed and judged by those who should be supporting him. And he will be judged, of that there is no doubt. We all judge people every single day. On those home visits before his first day at school will they decide he’s headed for the ganglands or red bricks? Will he get a pass if I scrub the house from top to bottom like when the social first came round? Which stereotypes will they choose to focus on?
The divisions in our society are shockingly extreme and I fear the current political and economic climate will only widen the gulf. Before the neighbourhood shootings I knew that all these factors would stack against my son. Now I’ve been shown in no uncertain terms where the stack can push you, and it’s a fucking scary place.
*Well, on pre-Brexit prices anyway.
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28th July 2016 at 6:48 am
I lived near where that picture depicts. The system doesn’t fail just ethnic minorities, in fact, there white poor people are failed too. The ones truly failed are the poor children. I moved away partly because of the gangs… And just ten minutes away from our door there were two stabbings in a year! Poor kids whose parents aren’t home because they work have free way to go out after school and form gangs of friends and get into situations that they wouldn’t be getting in if there was at least one parent to mind them. I hope your boy doesn’t fall into these traps, it’s hard, I know. I fear every day hearing that one of mine was hurt by or worse involved in gangs…
28th July 2016 at 3:14 pm
Thanks Laurie. I have to admit Mumsnet used a stock photo, it’s not actually of my estate! You’re right that the system fails people from poor backgrounds, white young people too. In fact the gangs around me are very multicultural. The evidence does show that the system overall does disproportionately fail people from ethnic minorities unfortunately. When children fall through the cracks there are so many factors at play it’s hard to pinpoint one thing but I really get the impression that a variety of negative stereotyping around different characteristics merge together to create a real barrier for some to climb over. I’m certainly going to do everything in my power to help my son overcome any of those stereotypes and challenges but it’s so sad that that is how society works 🙁
27th July 2016 at 10:49 pm
Fantastic post – and worrying. Your fears are, of course, realistic. It isn’t fair; unfair, too, that those from the ‘top end’ of the street refuse to admit the systematic bias which fails our young people so badly.
In my long-ago, working class childhood, the grammar school offered a chance of class mobility. Class shouldn’t matter, but it does. We passed the entrance exam and were bullied by our neighbours’ kids. Like the Chinese and Indian children of modern folklore, we studied hard because we knew this was our only exit. There was a smattering of black kids at the grammar; they studied even harder.
Something’s changed. There’s no free university now, unless you’re a truly exceptional student. Should you decide to face down the bullies; to shoulder the debt: everyone’s got a degree now, and it turns out connections matter more than qualifications. The window of educational opportunity’s a lot cloudier than it was. And if you don’t pass that first entrance exam – there is no window. Jobs in shops & offices rarely offer security, career progression or funded training. There’s no more going into the factory where your dad worked.
Kids aren’t stupid. They know when their lives are collateral damage. Their futures have been traded by the folks up the other end of the street – it’s not surprising they’re both despondent and angry. Further up country, hordes of scorned NEETs don’t even know who took their futures but they know they’ve been robbed. Apart from the sheer moral and economic foolishness of discarding a whole generation – it’s a time bomb.
With a mother like you, I’m pretty confident your child will find his paths to fulfilment and whatever passes for security by then. He will shine because he has you lighting his way. Parents shouldn’t have to teach their children how to evade prejudice, and not all parents can. Your boy will succeed, but the odds are too heavily weighted against most – it’s so wrong, I had to write this lengthy reply!
28th July 2016 at 3:19 pm
Thanks so much for taking the time to respond. You actually brought a tear to my eye! All you’ve said is so true and it’s so sad and only getting worse. I hope you’re right about my son. It’s unfair that that’s what children need though, a strong mother who is able to fight their corner – some children don’t have that for very many different reasons. Children should all be given the same chances and opportunities and I mean opportunities in real terms, not just in name only because on the surface many of the children go to the same school but there’s something unwritten about how they are treated differently it seems. Of course I’m preaching to the converted but it’s so frustrating! Thanks so much for taking the time to comment.