January is the most popular month for getting divorced. Over twice as many people file for divorce this month as file for it in the second most popular month – September (I’m guessing the school holidays are to blame then). The first working Monday in January is termed “Divorce Monday” because it’s the most popular day to file for divorce. My own Divorce Monday came over two years ago and I’ve now been officially divorced for almost two years to the day. It’s been one hell of a journey, and of course one which started well before the day I sent off my divorce paperwork. I’m not about to launch into some advice piece on whether or not to divorce. No-one can tell you that. But perhaps I can give you a little insight into getting divorced.
According to the mainstream media, Divorce Monday reflects all that is wrong with society ‘nowadays’; a society where people are unwilling to put in effort, a society where we walk away from our commitments too easily, a society where we flit from one bad decision to the next searching for instant gratification. The UK government are so sure people enter divorce too easily that they recently overturned the proposal for a ‘no-fault’ divorce fearing it would encourage more divorces. Do they not realise that the decision to divorce comes far before you sign on the dotted line – Divorce Monday, or no Divorce Monday. One article suggested that limits should be introduced on when you can petition for a divorce. I guess Divorce Monday would then have to become Divorce Tuesday. Perhaps we could keep limiting it until we run out of days in the week. In fact, a disproportionate number of people who divorce got engaged at the weekend – perhaps we should just cancel all weekends. Why stop there though? Marriage is really the root of all these problems, without marriage there would be no divorce, so let’s just be done with it and scrap marriage (*JOKE*).
Don’t think for one second I’m suggesting divorce is a good thing in and of itself, that would be just as absurd as thinking it’s a universally bad thing. Divorce is neither good nor bad. Divorce is an outcome for many people which they need. It is a result which only they can know is right for them, and only they can know when is the right time to get divorced. For many people, that will be this January. Yes, it’s sad that Divorce Monday exists but not because of some imagined blight it represents on our society. It’s sad because it represents the end of someone’s hopes and dreams and it often hides many months, if not years, of unhappiness at best (and much worse for many). Divorce is often a difficult journey and whilst that journey varies from person to person, most only reach their Divorce Monday after having tried harder than most people can imagine possible. Whilst there’s no denying that divorce is a hard path to take, it’s certainly no failure.
Other Posts on Divorce
If you liked this post you may also like this post on why divorce is a sign of strength, the 14 emotions of a divorced mum or my one on separation – why us. If you are a parent and you are divorcing, or have divorced, and are struggling with your relationship with your child’s co-parent you may also like this post detailing my own personal challenges with co-parenting after divorce.
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