Toddler Talk: Funny Things My Toddler Says

Toddler talk is hilarious, I’ve been keeping a track of some of my favourite sayings from my toddler over the last year. What funny things does your little one say?

toddler talk

Toddler Talk for Science/ Maths

“Mummy I don’t have a shadow, it’s too dark, I‘m not here!”

I can’t see my eyes.

Is the sun made of potato?

Where’s the sun gone. It’s lost!

Me: That’s the sun-set.
Son: Why’s the sun upset?

In the shower together…
Son: Can I wash your feet?
Me: Yes.
Son: (Washing my feet) Do you want conditioner?

I need a wee because I have too much food in my willy.

I have a baby in my belly. Actually, it’s a rabbit. I love my baby.

I’m in your tummy. I’m a baby. I’m cracking out now. I’m a big boy!

I drank lots of water. I grow big now.

It’s not a rectangle it’s a blue-tangle (about a blue rectangle).

I’m not a teeny tiny animal now, I’m a big girl.

Snuggling in bed….
Son: Why aren’t you snuggling me?
Me: I’m scratching my eye.
Son: Why you scratching your eye?
Me: Because it itches.
Son: Why it itches?
Me: I don’t know.
Son: Grandpa will know.

Toddler Talk on London Property 

We have two gardens. That one’s for rubbish [front garden] and the other one is for toys [back garden] (I’d like to point out I’m only responsible for the back garden, the front one isn’t technically ours, though my son is very good at picking up the rubbish from it!)

(Whenever entering a large bathroom) What’s all that space for? (clearly already conditioned into London real estate and toilets requiring you to sit with your legs sticking out of the doorway.)

I don’t like it when it’s new. I like it when it’s dirty and horrible. (In reference to using a nice clean toilet).

Toddler Talk: Literary Skills and Arts Knowledge
Gi-jamas (his made up word for his pyjamas which have guitars on them – I was secretly impressed with this one)

(While mixing paint colours) It’s changing. Look its a funny colour, it’s joking.

My mummy is called my mum.

It’s a castle (pointing to a pylon out of the train window).

It’s mirty (a combination of mucky and dirty all rolled in to one).

Stabi-wheels (stabilisers).

Me: we need to go to the pharmacy.
Son: [two minutes later] are we going to the sister farmer now?

Toddler Talk: Bonus Points Round For Honesty 
Son: Arrgghh (straining on the toilet)
Me: (encouragingly) That’s it, push hard.
Son: Like mummy does.

I want to run away.

Sorry for bouncing on you like a funny tinker (after hiding me and jumping on me).

I’m only perfect today (he has a high bar, my son).

Why didn’t we run? (on the rare occasion that we boarded the bus at a leisurely pace)

When seeing me in the shower…
Son: Mummy what are those?
Me: Breasts
Son: They are very wobbly.

Good carrying (after I’d carried him on the baby carry through the woods).

No sorry, you can’t have any space.

I want some tension (aka A-ttention!)

Mummy I hate your pretty nails. Put your old fingers back. (On the rare occasion I paint my nails).

Son: Mummy, why do you have lines on your face?
Me: They are wrinkles.
Son: I want some!


What’s the funniest thing your little one says?


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Little Hearts, Big Love


4 comments on “Toddler Talk: Funny Things My Toddler Says

  1. I love this list of the things that your toddler has said – the concern about not being here because his shadow disappeared made me smile. I also loved “sister-farmer”, “mirty” and asking you to put your old fingers back on! Thank you for linking up to #ftmob and hope you have a lovely Christmas 🙂

  2. Excellent! Good for you for writing them down. I think I’ll remember and then they all float away….

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